so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
