I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
