Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
