I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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