its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
