I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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