So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
