well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
