My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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