Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
