Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
