are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
