Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
