capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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