Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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