Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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