I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
