so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
