4 words: hood of his car
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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