im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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