everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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