Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
