Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
