Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
