She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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