I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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