is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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