So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
