when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
