i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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