tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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