i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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