Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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