Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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