Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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