If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
