i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
