dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
