You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
