Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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