If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
