imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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