so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
