Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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