the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
