eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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