You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
