the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize