So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
