So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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