I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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