Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize