He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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