so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
