Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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