I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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