The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
