I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
