as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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