i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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