It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
