What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
