the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
