I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
