i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
