Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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