your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
