Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's blow job season.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
